The Pleasure Factor

If I ever do get a handle on this addiction it will be because I dealt with the pleasure factor. My head knows that most of the pleasure from a cigarette is the chemicals, mainly nicotine, that soar through the bloodstream so quick it makes your head spin (sometimes literally). Next to the physical is the habit of lighting up. How can I even imagine waking up without a cigarette and a cup of coffee? I'm trying right now to picture myself doing anything else in the morning and I can't do it. That is how I have been waking up since the habit became ingrained when I was around 15 years old...about 26 years of smoking. In good times and bad, rich or poor, sickness or health....hey! that sounds familiar! Whatever state of mind or economy I happen to find myself there are the cigarettes along for the ride. I remember a commissioned sales job that I had that really suffered because of smoking. They were sort of "lax" when it came to breaks, especially smokers, I guess because a few of the supervisors smoked. In between a few calls trying to get people to renew their magazines I would feel the urge start and start a little countdown in my head, "O.K. only 3 more calls then I'm going out for a smoke". Sure enough I would push on till I counted it on down but never any further. Sometimes during those smoke-breaks I would monitor my "supply" and make sure I had enough to get through till I got home. There were some tough times while I worked there, where I had to "bum" a few here and there from co-workers. It never has ceased to amaze me the special bond that smokers share when they work together.....almost like people of different races would sit together at a gathering, smokers always find other smokers and there's an instant bond. Speaking of bonding with smokers: looks like Jane's about ready for a smoke so I'll pick it back up later.....If you've been reading closely you'd understand...